


Don’t Ask Why

by StarlitVesper



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Aliens in heat, Biting, Dib in college, Fluff and Smut, Light Choking, M/M, Mpreg, Other, Welcome ladies gentlemen and variations thereupon!, Xenophilia, Xenophiliac Dib (Invader Zim), ZaDr, Zim is super in denial about being in heat, Zim’s intersex because that’s just how I like to write him, but also other, dib in his 20s, erotic asphyxiation, gold medal in mental gymnastics, marathon fucking, okay without further ado let’s fucking do this tag thing up GOOD, so idk make of it what you will, so this is technically m/m, weird kinks, youre probably here because you love fluffy smut!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:01:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22795201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlitVesper/pseuds/StarlitVesper
Summary: A sequence that is now (Feb 18, 2020) going to be in Hybrid, Chapter 4, part II.I loved the idea of them having wild, passionate sex while eating in bed so much, that I decided to write an extended bit for Hybrid.It involves some very light BDSM (biting, choking), Zim embarrassing Dib over one of his many weird kinks, and pizza! 🍕 Which is really what you’re here for ;)
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 140





	Don’t Ask Why

**Author's Note:**

> You don’t need to read Hybrid to enjoy this, but you really SHOULD read Hybrid :3

_I don't care who knows that I'm in love with you_  
_We don't need no ones permission to do what we do_  
_Cause your love is so delicious_  
_It's a sweet and vicious wonderland…_

\- [The Orion Experience, _Adrianne_](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A-faAXhTY3Q)

* * *

“Did you seriously just order an actual pizza?”

“You’re the one who told me to!”

“Not while I’m riding you, I didn’t!”

Dib set his phone off to the side and looked up in time to catch Zim rolling his eyes. “I told you it was going to take me a little while to be ready to go again, plus I’m  _ starving — _ ”

Zim’s mouth curved into a conspiratorial smile.

“I know what you could eat right now …” Zim trailed off as Dib matched him word for word.

“You’re so predictable,” Dib said with a smirk.

Zim glared, then flopped against him and bit down at the crux of his neck and shoulder.

“Ah! Zim!!”

Zim waited a moment to better gauge Dib’s reaction. If he wasn’t actively flipping out, there was a good chance he was actually into it. Now Zim just had to get him to admit it. 

“... harder …” Dib whispered.

“Any harder and I’m gonna break the skin,” Zim mumbled with his mouth full.

“I know.”

Zim’s eyes went wide. “... so it’s gonna be  _ that  _ kinda night, huh?”

“Only if you want it to be,” Dib replied, but he was already pressing his hips upwards. Zim’s mouth was hot against his skin, teeth bruising him and threatening to make him bleed. Zim had his fingers tangled in Dib’s hair as Dib kissed his shoulder and bucked his hips hard against his body. Zim let out a little chirp as he took the entirety of Dib’s cock up inside him.

“Such a good little alien,” Dib cooed as he stroked Zim’s antennae with one hand and steadied his hips with the other. “Come on … I know you can bite me harder than that …”

Zim bit down and felt his teeth break the skin, the smell of blood suddenly overwhelming him. Dib let out an ecstatic little yelp from beneath him. Zim rubbed eagerly against him, legs entangled. Even if his cock had gone on an indefinite hiatus, it was still inside him somewhere, and the pressure and force of their hips making contact felt so good he could hardly see straight. His body tingled as Dib’s hand roved from his hips to his ass to his thigh.

Zim finally let go of Dib’s shoulder and wiped specks of blood from his mouth. Dib was breathing hard and loud beneath him, and — almost without thinking — Zim’s hand crept to his throat. Dib’s pulse thrummed under his fingertips. Zim leaned down, close enough that the beat of Dib’s heart was nearly deafening.

“How long do you think you could go without breathing?” Zim asked in his ear.

“Dunno … how quickly do you think you could get me off?” Dib whispered back, rolling his hips and gently fucking him.

“Wanna find out?”

“God, do I ever …”

He relaxed as Zim’s hand grasped his trachea, melting further when Zim’s lips brushed against his. He let Zim snake his tongue past his lips, then abruptly slide down into his throat. All Dib could do was make frantic little moans — wildly aware that he was losing oxygen as he did so — and hold onto Zim’s thighs as he thrust wildly into Zim’s body. Zim was breathing fast and shallow, the frequency of his chirps indicating he was already close to climax.

Dib’s ears started to ring and he frantically pushed himself towards the finish line. As his vision started to tunnel, Zim’s elated exclamations echoed in his ears. He gave a few desperate, greedy thrusts between Zim’s legs, kissing him desperately as he finally emptied himself out, body going limp and vision finally going dark.

***

“Dib?? Dib??? Please don’t be dead … I worked so hard to make you not be dead …”

Zim gave his cheek a frantic little series of slaps.

“Ow!” Dib shouted, head buzzing. 

Zim was suddenly hugging him so tight he could barely breathe again. 

“I thought I’d committed a murder!!”

“Oof … no, that’s just what happens when I don’t breathe for a solid minute,” Dib explained, rubbing Zim’s back reassuringly. “Did you get off? I passed out before I could tell for sure …”

Zim nodded against his neck, delicately tracing the teeth marks in his skin. “You’re okay?”

Dib laughed nervously. “I’m fine and that was … I guess we shouldn’t make a habit of it, but  _ damn _ it was fun.”

The doorbell suddenly rang and Dib groaned. “Dammit. There’s food. And I’m a fucking mess.”

Zim sat up and pulled Dib’s shirt on. It came down to just above his knees. “I’ll get it,” he said, pulling on his beanie and hopping off the bed. He got as far as the doorway and then abruptly froze.

“What’s wrong?” Dib asked, confused. 

“There is an absolute river of cum sliding down my leg right now,” Zim hissed between gritted teeth, thoroughly disgusted.

The doorbell rang again and Dib rolled out of bed, hurriedly pulling on his boxers. “I’ll take care of you in a moment — sit tight,” he said, patting Zim’s shoulder as he dashed past.

He sprinted into the living room and opened the door.

“Delivery for —  _ Whoa _ . Dude. Are you alright?” the scrawny delivery boy asked, a slightly horrified expression plastered to his face. 

Dib sat there in utter confusion, trying to decide what, exactly, he was being asked about.

“You look like something big tried to take a bite out of you …”

Oh. Yeah. His shoulder. He probably should have snatched his shirt from Zim before he dashed out. 

Dib took the pizza boxes and laughed nervously. “Oh, that’s just from … the dog. He plays a little rough. It’s nothing.” Zim would be so proud of him, learning to lie on the spot like that. He’d have to be sure to bring it up later. 

The delivery boy looked skeptical, then looked down and jumped. “Wait …  _ that dog??” _

It was fortuitous that GIR had chosen that exact moment to show back up, bounding in from the darkness like a tiny portent of doom. He leaped towards the stairs, startling the delivery boy and catching his foot on the singular stair. Dib picked him up and tucked him under his arm. “Yup! This little guy’s bite sure is worse than his bark—”

GIR yapped happily. His master would be so pleased that he was working on his barks. He’d have to make sure to tell him later.

“He looks hungry so … uhhhhh … I’d better go! I tipped you online already bye!” Dib whirled inside and shut the door.

“Where have you been??” Dib asked GIR as he set him down on the floor.

GIR just shrugged. “We havin’ pizza for dinner??” he asked, bouncing.

“Yep, you’ve got a whole one to yourself, even!” Dib said, handing it over. He hoped it would keep GIR out of his and Zim’s way tonight. “Just don’t make too much of a mess.”

GIR hopped up on the couch and opened the box. “I promise …  _ nothing _ !!” He cackled at his own joke as he turned on the TV.

“Alright, buddy. Have fun.” 

Dib snagged an entire roll of paper towels and made his way back to the bedroom, where a rather miffed looking Zim was standing in a puddle of jizz. Dib choked on a giggle. 

“Just what is so funny?” Zim demanded. “And what took so long?” 

Dib set their food on the bed. “The delivery guy thought I got bit by a dog,” he said, pointing to his shoulder. He laid down a few sheets of paper towels. “Alright, step over. And I’d be lying if I said your predicament wasn’t at least a tiny bit funny,” he said as he mopped up the floor.

“Well, It’s your fault, so all the cleaning is on you,” Zim grumbled.

“You’re cute when you’re making demands of me,” Dib said, turning his cleaning efforts towards Zim.

“Yeah, well, that’s good. Because I have a lot of— Ah!” He looked down and Dib’s face was under his shirt. The more concerning bit was that Dib’s tongue was on its way up his leg. “Dib!! Why do you insist on doing that??”

Dib stopped to kiss the inside of his thigh. “Because I love how you taste so I had to come back for more …” He slid his tongue inside and heard Zim moan softly above him. He grabbed Zim’s ass to steady himself and pressed his face deeper between Zim’s thighs, enjoying the way the taste of both of them mingled in his mouth. He felt Zim reach a hand down and run it through his hair.

“I hate that you’ve made me enjoy this.”

Dib sucked at him gently, then finally sat back. “Do you really?” he asked, looking a little concerned.

Zim sighed and sat down in his lap, relief sweeping over him when Dib wrapped his arms around him, tugging his shirt aside to kiss his shoulder.

“I feel like it  _ should _ make me totally disgusted … but when you’re willing to do this gross thing just because I taste so good …” He closed his eyes and purred softly, a smile spreading across his face. “… sometimes I just picture being out somewhere, and you can smell how aroused I am, so you just tear off my pants and tongue fuck me until I come.”

“In front of strangers?” Dib asked, a little surprised.

“The idea of you loving me so much that you’re willing to publicly fuck me just to show everyone that I’m yours is incredibly attractive,” Zim mumbled with a noncommittal shrug. He pulled a face and shifted uncomfortably. “Ooh, I just got myself turned on in the  _ worst  _ possible way …”

“There’s a bad way to be turned on?” Dib asked as Zim blushed halfway down his chest. 

“Apparently!!” He rubbed against Dib’s leg and whimpered. “I need you so badly right now …”

Dib kissed his cheek. “I thought that’s just been your whole day.”

“It got worse all of a sudden …”

Dib stood up, scooping Zim up with him.

“Wow, you didn’t even flail when I picked you up,” Dib commented as he carried Zim over to the bed.

“I’ve got other problems right now, Dib!” Zim chirped frantically from his arms.

“Okay, okay … hold on …” Dib went to set Zim down on the bed, but his limbs were wrapped tightly around Dib’s middle. “Not like that, you weirdo …”

Dib tried to pry him off but Zim held on tighter, grinding against him.

“Diiiiib …” he whined.

“I’m trying to help you! Would you just let go and lie down for a moment?”

Zim finally let go and dropped the few inches onto the mattress, looking sullen. 

“If you would just  _ wait  _ … for two seconds …” Dib said kissing down the side of his face.

“I don’t want you to do it  _ like that … _ ”

“Like what?”

“Standing between my legs…”

“How  _ do  _ you want me, then?”

“All the way on top of me,” Zim whispered, eyes pleading.

“Completely vanilla sex, it is!” Dib said with a laugh, climbing on top of him.

Zim scoffed. “Why do humans have so many weird metaphors for sex?” he asked as Dib moved him further from the end of the bed and then proceeded to tuck pillows under him on either side of his PAK. “Ice cream … baseball … and what exactly do you have against this position??”

“I don’t have anything  _ against  _ it … it’s just, you know … standard.”

“Well, it feels good to have you on top of me, so …” he trailed off, red-faced.

Dib kissed his scowl. “I want to make you feel good … especially when you look so sulky.”

“I’m not  _ sulky _ , Dib! I’m sexually frustrated because you won’t just … get inside me, already,” he muttered, embarrassed. “I want … I need to get you off … the feeling is driving me insane …”

Dib bit his lip. That same anxiety from before bubbled up into his consciousness. 

“Zim … it’s really starting to sound like …”

Zim opened and eye and scowled at him. “Like  _ what,  _ Dib?” He didn’t feel like having this conversation again. Especially not now.

Dib looked sheepish. “... like you … want to mate with me …”

Zim could feel Dib’s cock jump against him slightly, and raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t mating what we’re doing right now…?”

“No, Zim, I mean like …  _ breeding _ . With the end goal of having smeets.”

“I never  _ asked _ for smeets, Dib. I only asked to couple with you. And why do you keep getting turned on when using those other words for it?”

“W-What are you talking about?” Dib stuttered, suddenly looking extremely guilty.

Zim stared up at him curiously for a moment, gears turning in his head.

“ _ Ohhh _ ,” he said softly. “I see …”

“You see  _ what _ ?” Dib asked, suddenly feeling the need to go on the defensive.

Zim smiled conspiratorially. “You’ve got a fetish for mating with me while I’m in heat, don’t you? That’s why you’ve been in my face about it.”

“I — that is  _ not why _ —”

“Say you haven’t got one.”

Dib gave him a strange look. “Huh?”

“You’re the worst liar ever,” Zim said, looking pleased with himself. “So just tell me you haven’t got a fetish for it, and I’ll drop the topic.”

Dib stared at him for several seconds, blushing furiously and attempting to find a loophole.

“... it’s  _ not _ why I keep bringing it up,” he eventually muttered.

Underneath him, Zim cackled. “ _ Sure _ , it isn’t … you’re totally not thinking of  _ breeding  _ with me while I’m  _ in heat _ ,” he whispered suggestively.

Dib squeezed his eyes shut. “Zim … I’m trying to be serious …”

“So am I!”

“If you would just level with me here —”

“I'm being very level! I’m just asking you to  _ mate _ with m—  _ oof _ !” Zim exclaimed as Dib suddenly slid inside him. He arched his back in rapturous delight. “That’s more like it! Fucking finally …”

“If you keep saying shit like that, you might get me off a little more quickly than you want …” Dib panted, kissing him.

“Saying what? Things like,  _ ‘Ooooh, Dib!’ _ ” he shouted, an octave up from his normal speaking voice. “ _ ‘I’m an alien in heat and I just need to get mated by you!!!’ _ ”

Dib fell on top of him, laughing. “Stop!! Zim, Jesus … You’re giving me the most confusing erection ever!!”

“But I  _ am  _ giving you one?” Zim asked coyly, grinding against him.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Dib admitted, pressing down against him.

Zim was still giggling, and Dib cradled his head and kissed him. “You know,” he said as he lazily rolled his hips against Zim, “this is what I always hoped it would be like to have sex with you; just stupid, giggly fun.”

“I’d hope you would also assume it would be  _ hot _ … it is  _ me,  _ after all,” Zim said with a blissful grin. He wrapped his legs around Dib’s waist, moaning softly as Dib thrust upon between his legs. 

“I thought that was a given,” Dib murmured, stroking the base of Zim’s antenna. “Especially since you’re the only person I find attractive.”

Zim was aware, but he never got tired of hearing just how into him Dib really was.

“How lucky for you that Zim returns your inferior human  _ feelings _ ,” he said with a smirk. “I’m kidding … I wouldn’t give these feelings up for anything.”

He let Dib kiss him all over, loving how it felt to have Dib breathing hard against his neck while passionately thrusting between his legs.

“This feels better than ever,” Zim whimpered softly.

“You’ve only got 24 hours worth of data to compare to!” Dib laughed, nuzzling against him.

“Sure … but this is on another level entirely,” Zim said quietly. “Oooh, can you go a little harder? The impact feels so good …”

Dib braced Zim’s body against his arm, then thrust hard up into him. Zim gave an electric shriek.

“Oh!! Yes!!” He turned and kissed Dib’s arm. “Good human …  _ that’s  _ how you make your alien lover happy.”

Dib kissed up to the top of his head, and Zim turned, hoping Dib would take the hint and pay some attention to his antennae. He purred with pleasure when Dib started kissing around the base.

“Your alien lover who’s absolutely desperate for you,” Zim whispered playfully as Dib ran his tongue along the length of his antenna, “because he’s  _ so helplessly in heat _ and  _ needs to mate  _ with you…”

“Is this our standard for dirty talk, now?” Dib said breathlessly. It wasn’t lost on Zim that Dib had sped up a good deal in response to his words.

“That depends … will it get you off?”

“I mean, yeah—”

“Then it absolutely is.” Zim bucked his hips up to meet Dib’s thrust. “Plus, I love how your body reacts when I do things like  _ beg you to breed with me _ —”

His back arched as Dib whimpered and picked up the pace, leaning down to kiss him.

“I need you, Dib,” Zim whispered against his lips. He was sore, but that almost made the impact of Dib’s cock feel better every time it was shoved inside.

Dib inhaled deeply. “I need you, too … and you smell amazing.” Had Zim always smelled this good? Maybe it was some combination of pheromones and sweat … he didn’t much care, at this point. Zim chirped and trilled and purred under him, in between increasingly loud exclamations and amidst all the noise, it was easy for Dib to shut out the rest of the world and focus only on Zim’s body beneath him. Though he hoped that GIR had the TV up to its normal volume. 

“D-Dib …”

“Mm … what?”

“If I come first, you don’t get to stop…”

“Good … cuz I don’t want to,” Dib said as he resumed kissing every available inch of Zim’s trembling body.

Zim suddenly wrapped his arms around Dib’s neck, fingers grabbing fistfuls of hair, before pressing his hips upwards and giving desperate, muffled moans against Dib’s mouth. True to his word, Dib kept going, pounding up into Zim’s body as Zim’s tongue kept his mouth occupied.

Zim released his legs from Dib’s waist and instead planted his feet on either side of his hips so that he could thrust upwards towards with greater force. Dib whimpered softly, caressing Zim’s antennae and frantically pushing his body towards the edge. He didn’t have the time or wherewithal to warn Zim when his body, pleading for release, finally climaxed in a way that left him hungrily pressing against against Zim’s body, making a litany of small, soft noises against his mouth.

It took Zim a moment to realize what had just happened, but then he quickly put his hands on Dib’s ass and proceeded to grind against him. Nothing up to that point had felt quite as good as letting Dib fill him up. What he experienced was not so much an orgasm as it was a transcendental state of pleasure. By the time Dib collapsed on top of him, Zim was relaxed and trembling beneath him.

Dib nuzzled against his cheek. “Was that what you needed?”

“Exactly …” Zim murmured. “Now just do that ten more times.”

“You gotta give me a chance to get some calories in me,” he said with a kiss before rolling over and sliding the pizza box in front of him. “Especially before this goes cold …” 

He pulled out a slice and ate it over the box. Zim rolled his eyes but joined him. 

“Are you really planning on just … having sex all night?” Dib asked. 

“All weekend, if you’ll let me,” Zim replied. “Why? Do you not want to?” He sounded a bit nervous. This was uncharted territory, after all. He knew very little about Dib’s sexual appetite, save for what he had learned in the last 24 hours. 

“Hm? No … I keep thinking that I’ll eventually need to recuperate for a couple hours, but then that keeps on not being an issue at all. I was just thinking …” He trailed off. Zim didn’t seem to want to have a conversation about his sudden sexual awakening, and at this point, Dib felt like he had done his due diligence. He had brought up his concerns several times now, and if Zim thought they were baseless, then he wouldn’t pester him further on the issue. Mostly because dealing with a sulky Zim who simultaneously wanted both cuddles and to be left alone was emotionally taxing. 

“You’ve been thinking  _ what _ ?” Zim asked quizzically as Dib stared off into space, the cheese rapidly sliding off his pizza. 

Dib shook his head and shoved the slice in his mouth before the toppings could escape. “I was thinking that I’m happy you’re so comfortable with me now, and all I want to do this weekend is order in, get fat, and make passionate love to you.”

Zim smiled lovingly, internally relieved that Dib seemed to have finally taken the hint and ceased his absolute crazy talk. “Well, what a coincidence. That’s exactly what I want, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> And so, we see why Dib gave up harassing Zim about how fertile he may or may not be. Does Zim really think Dib’s only brining it up because it’s a kink? Or is he just deflecting because the idea terrifies him? Only Zim knows


End file.
